Problem:

For most children, some anxiety is a normal part of development. Starting school, seeing a scary movie, or performing in front of people are just a few examples of normal anxiety responses. However, anxiety may be something more serious for children that are withdrawn, avoidant, or experience acute stress due to a specific places, situations, or people. Anxious children plan for all negative contingencies vs. going with the flow of the day and taking a "lets see what happens approach". "What if Sami doesn't sit with me at recess; My teacher will be mad at me if I don't do all of my homework; People will laugh at me and I won't have any friends if I wear these shoes; What if I strike out and I lose the game for my team; I will go to the party and no one will play with me" are all common worries you may hear from an anxious child.

Symptoms:

• Excessive worry about daily life events
• Chronic worry (being late, completing homework, making mistakes, things going wrong) Cannot tolerate being away from parent/caregiver
• Extreme fear and avoidance of specific animals, people, places, or situations
• Refusing to go to school
• Trouble falling asleep and staying asleep
• Need for things to be order "perfect" or "just right"
• Refusal to participate in social activities (parties, team sports, school recitals/plays)
• Excessive clinginess to parent or caregivers
• Physical complaints (stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, muscle tension/aches)
• Always expecting and over-exaggerating the worst-case scenario
• Self-critical thoughts "The other kids won't like me. I will never be able to do____"
• Overly sensitive and cries easily

How We Help:

Because anxiety is a problem of assuming negative future outcomes, it is important to help children refocus their thoughts and feelings on the present. Our philosophy is "live by what you know not what you fear". This helps to ground children in the reality of past real life experiences i.e., “My teacher has never been angry with me about my school or homework" vs. the fantasy/distortion of what they fear "My teacher will be angry and disappointed with me if my homework is not perfectly completed". Through the use of Mindfulness training, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and mild Exposure Therapy, positive coping skills are taught to help little guys think, feel, and live better.

Problem:

Kids that have ADHD, learning disabilities, and who are on the autism spectrum often have social challenges however, there are many other scenarios that can impact a child’s social success. Children with a substance abusing parent, children adjusting to a recent move, and children who experienced a recent life change like divorce or family death can often struggle socially. Some children displace or act out their feelings while others internalize and retreat within themselves. Here a three common profiles that illustrate their social struggles:

Withdrawn: Because these sensitive children are quiet, shy, and passive they can become targets for bullies. As a result, signs of anxiety, school refusal, and low self-confidence may surface.

Aggressive: These children are similar to withdrawn children but instead of internalizing their feelings, they act them out. They are the kids who are more likely to bully others, struggle with impulse control, and are overly domineering with peers.

Misunderstood: Kids that are on the autism spectrum, have a Non-Verbal Learning Disability, or have other learning challenges can struggle socially due to misreading or missing basic social competencies. Social context and social cues are often missed or misread causing a disconnect with other peers. For instance, at recess two kids are bouncing a ball back and forth. The misunderstood child sees this and wants to play. He runs over and kicks the ball, which rolls away from the two children. The goal was to engage and be a part of the game. The result was entirely the opposite.

How We Help:

Social difficulties can be very hard on the self-esteem which is why we take care in helping children develop stronger self-confidence as we move through the therapeutic process. Setting small “doable” goals helps children experience new social success and encourages stronger self-confidence. Specific and clear plans are developed so that children learn new skills such as: adaptive social skills/social pragmatics; stop bullying or being bullied; positively engage peers; cooperative play/taking turns and sharing; conflict resolution skills: assertiveness skills; and to improve age appropriate social competencies.

Problem:

Children naturally have a harder time understanding and verbally expressing their emotions, so we can usually spot depression through changes in their behavior first. Crying and temper tantrums are a normative part of childhood emotional expression however, some children's crying spells escalate despite their parent's attempts to soothe and provide comfort. Frequently, depression signifies a child's struggle adjusting to a life change such as moving homes or schools, parent conflict or divorce, a substance abusing parent, the birth of a sibling, or the death of a loved one. Although this can be a scary and upsetting time for parents, there are effective treatment options available to help little ones feel better.

Symptoms:

• Aggressive behavior and/or increase in negative attention seeking behaviors
• Reports of frequent tummy aches, headaches, or other physical complaints that do not stem from a true medical problem
• More pronounced irritability
• Crying spells with no apparent trigger
• Lack of interest in spending as much time with their buddies as they used to
• Quitting hobbies such as karate, soccer, or gymnastics, which used to bring them such joy and excitement
• Not wanting to go to school in the morning or asking to leave school early frequently
• Showing a loss of appetite and refusing to eat even the foods they once loved
• Lack of energy and a loss of interest in play
• Poor academic performance in school

How We Help:

We know how hard it is to watch your beloved child struggle and understand the urgency in helping your little one regain feelings of excitement and joy. Through the use of play therapy, art therapy, and sand tray therapy children learn to identify feelings of sadness and fear as well as articulate their feelings verbally. For older children who have greater insight about their emotional and mental states, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is used to help break the loop of negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Great care is given to warmly encourage children, as our goal is not only to help them resolve their struggles but to also foster emotional growth.

Problem:

Typically, children’s emotions such as anger, disappointment, and sadness come on quickly and strong and are usually transient as parents act quickly to resolve the situation. Some children have more difficulty managing their emotions and may not respond to their parent's best efforts to provide soothing support and emotional containment. For these children, tantrums occur frequently and take on a life of their own as child and parents seemingly have to “ride them out” to conclusion. As a result, parents can feel exasperated by their child’s emotions and unknowingly may become more permissive as a way to avoid their child’s outbursts. In the interest of “keeping the peace”, the family begins to shift in ways that reinforce the child’s outbursts.

Symptoms:

• Overacts to mild stress i.e. skins knee and cries for 15 minutes
• Has very small threshold for disappointment
• Temper tantrums and losing temper easily
• Child cannot seem to calm down
• Has trouble accepting “no” without crying or anger
• Sensitivity to certain clothes, sound, too much light, food textures
• Feelings of sorrow and guilt due to inability to control emotions

How We Help:

Used as a metaphor, “my cup runneth over” describes the overly emotional child’s overabundance of feelings that seemingly defy containment. Working with children and parents, we develop protocols to help soothe and contain emotions that once seemed out of control. Parents learn strategies to help prevent emotional outbursts before they begin while children learn to regulate and express their emotions, gaining greater emotional control. Art therapy, play therapy, and other effective child approaches help to encourage emotional and behavioral growth.

Problem:

It is developmentally appropriate for children to challenge and even cross boundaries. Children are inquisitive and experiential learners so boundary crossing (sneaking an extra desert), followed by a natural consequence (losing desert the next night) provides an experiential context that will guide a better future decision. For some children, boundaries present an opportunity to challenge and assert their will with little regard to the consequences. Their default reflex is to be a contrarian, opposing simple statements or opinions. Arguing, rule breaking, blaming others, and abject refusal to comply with adults/authority figures are all hallmarks of a defiant child. In addition to biological and genetic causes, environmental factors such as: divorce, inconsistent parenting, permissive/overindulgent parenting, high family conflict, and substance abusing parent/s are often predictors for defiant children.

Symptoms:

• Angry outbursts/temper tantrums
• Chronic arguing with adults/authority figures
• Frequently angry and resentful
• Refuses to follow rules
• Blaming others/no personal responsibility
• Unwilling to be flexible or compromise
• Blatant repeated disobedience
• Deliberate attempts to annoy others
• Spiteful or vindictive

How We Help:

Defiant children experience not only behavioral and emotional difficulties but interpersonal problems as well, which is why parental involvement is so crucial. Working with the child individually, they learn to improve emotional awareness; identify triggers that cause impulsive reactivity; regulate emotions of frustration and anger; express their thoughts/feelings respectfully; and employ daily coping skills preventatively to avoid stress. Parents work on creating a structured plan with consistent expectations, boundaries, and consequences/rewards. Parents and their child come together in family therapy to practice new adaptive communication skills, cooperatively resolve contention, and strengthen the parent-child bond.